Family Photo:
The Last Time You'll Do Something

If you define it specifically enough, every day contains something you'll do for the last time:

• The last time you cut up junk mail, while kneeling on the bare floor, wearing a train museum hat with a purple shirt.
• The last time your eldest child loose his top right baby tooth.
• The last time you eating ice cream with your five year-old in the month of May, knowing next year he'll be six.

Sometimes you know it's the last time as it happens. Sometimes you don't.

There are last times you wonder about:

• The last time you find out you're pregnant.
• The last time you hold your newborn child.

There are last times you hope about:

• The last time you vomit on the sidewalk due to poor life choices.
• The last time you say 'I do' to the person you love at a gathering of friends and family—one of life's best choices.

We moved into a new house this month. Will it be the last time we move into a new house?

I think about the elderly couple who lived here before us. We didn't know them, but the neighbors say the were kind. She was sick for a while. He passed away shortly after she did (though not in the house, the real estate agent was quick to interject). We still get their junk mail, though there's nowhere to forward it. It's a peculiar sort of getting to know someone.

What were their lasts?

• The last time they checked the mail.
• The last time she cooked them dinner in their renovated kitchen.
• The last time he worked on a project, pulling tools down from his garage shelves.
• The last time they held each other in bed.

Did they know these would be their last times? Would they have experienced them differently if they did?

Every few weeks I cradle Calvin in my arms and sing him a bedtime song. He doesn't fit in them like he did when he was a baby. It's awkward, his limbs spill out everywhere, and he flops around like a prize-winning fish.

But if I don't, then the last time I did already passed.

Dad Joke:
Do The Last Section

The mayor from a small town hires a guy to paint the road to a city 30 miles away.

"We'll divide the road in 3 sections of 10 miles each. You can come get your paycheck after you finish each section.", says the Mayor.

The guy accepts the offer and starts that same day.

He finishes the first segment after 3 days.

When he goes to the town hall to get his first paycheck, the mayor says "Wow, that was fast, keep up this pace!", and hands him the money.

The guy continues with the next section. This time he spends 3 weeks painting the second section.

He goes to the town hall again, and the mayor says "You were really fast with the first section, but now you slowed down. Try to paint the last section faster," and hands him the second paycheck.

The painter proceeds with the last section. He takes 3 whole months until he's done. When he arrives for his money, the mayor says angrily, "Man, you were really fast with the first section. Then you took 3 weeks with the second section. Now 3 months for the last section?!?! I hope you have an explanation!!!"

"Well..." Says the guy. "The paint bucket was further away each time".

Source: Reddit / Gemini​

Highlights:
The Last Time You'll Do Something

​The Last Time You'll Do Something by Sam Harris​

​The Last Bus Problem by Andrew Bosworth​

​My 14-Hour Search for the End of TGI Friday's Endless Appetizers by Caity Weaver​

editor's note: the word count and quality of the mozzarella stick piece are shockingly high. ​
🤔 I wonder if I have read it for the last time.

iamJoshKnox:
One Last Time

​The Last Uppy​

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​The Last Ollie 540​

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​Please REPLY if you'd like to do a 30-minute interview with me for a Podcast that doesn't yet exist.

Or book some time on my calendar if there's anything else you'd like to chat about:
​https://calendly.com/iamjoshknox​

Until next week,
​iamJoshKnox​​

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